THESE LITTLE THINGS…
These little things? … They always count and they always matter. Regardless of whether it’s about your family, friendship, a relationship or even work. Lately I had some pretty intense conversations that all had one thing in common. We’ve been in different initial situations but all of them mostly ended up with the words “it was about those little things“. And I know exactly that we’ve all been there for at least once. Since this topic is bothering me let’s have an up, close & personal talk here on the blog for the first time I guess.
I do care a lot about having a close relationship with my family and friends. I’m not the easiest person but I make my greatest efforts to uphold them and to be there for any of you whenever you need me to be there. While writing this I understand that I probably shouldn’t put myself on second position anymore even I’m well aware that this ain’t gonna happen. But god damn. I’m fine with it. But there are other people that just don’t deserve to be treated the way they are at the moment or have been treated for the past months or years. There’s always more than one side but also more than one person involved in such relationships. Put some effort in your relationships please.
I told you that every topic will involve fashion from different point of views now. Fashion with different definitions. Call me old-fashioned (no pun intended here) but since when has it become trendy to take things for granted? Fashion goes along with attraction and I’m definitely not attracted to people taking things or others for granted. I’m not attracted to people who are not able to appreciate something or somebody. To avoid confusion I’ll take you back to where it all kind of started. Well not exactly, but here’s what’s part of what induced me to write this post.
Finding myself fighting with a friend over something that wasn’t even worth the discussion, I was trying to convince myself the whole day, that I was totally right about everything that happened the other night. Then out of the sudden the truth dawned upon me, because I wasn’t this time. At least not 100% right. Simple misunderstandings do exist and I do realize that some of them led me into really bad fights ending up ignoring people for months fighting over little things. I don’t ask for trouble and I don’t spoil for fights. Even if some of you think I do. At the same time, I was having a little fight with another friend that messed up a few times already. But this time my patience snapped (and losing my patience after more than 10 years is acceptable I guess). Even if I don’t want to hear anything from this person at the moment, I know that it’s gonna end up with being okay. One of my favorite sayings still is this one: If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. I know it’s gonna be okay. I know we are going to be okay. But I’m also pretty sure that we have to go to a pretty intense fight first. I wish I could say that this is not going to happen, but I’m pretty sure that’s the only way to get rid of all the bad vibes going on right now and we know that this is going to be healthy for a relationship like this.
The following words are written by me but simply should sum up the thoughts of all the persons that I’ve been talking to lately going through something similar. They are not directed to a specific someone so don’t take any offense. I just feel like sharing these words to use them as a wake-up-call for everyone who has forgotten about all those little things that matter. Let’s all work on the little things. Let’s make time for them even if we all have a lot going on in our lives.
Some things mean a lot to me and most of the time these little things are important to me. I just want to explain and want people, that have been involved in such discussions already, to know that I get mad because I care. Most of the time these little things might not be essential for you to start discussing over them, but for me they are. These little things are things that I maybe brought up already when they bothered me at the first go. These little things might be things, that we’ve already talked about in one of our last fights. These little things represent all the hollow promises you once gave me. All the appointments you postponed. Or the ones you forgot. All the times you forgot to ask if I want to join. All the times you ignored my questions. All the times you said you were sorry but you didn’t mean it. All those little lies. All the ‘how are you’-messages I never received from you. All the allergies I have that you forgot about even we’ve known each other for years. All the birthdays that you missed. All the heartbreaks I went through without you. All the times that you promised to visit me when I left the city. All the responsibilities that you missed on being a good friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, sister, mother, father,…
You see. There’s a bunch of those little things that are not even worth mentioning them separately. But these things summed up might have hurt someone in a way you (still) don’t get. That’s why we sometimes start discussions over little things.
As for me? I’m tired. Tired of discussing over the same little thing again. That’s why I’m accepting the fact, that these are things that will never change. Things that I can’t change because I can’t change the person that you are. But keep in mind that these things were already brought up at some point – meaning they already hurt someone at that point.
As for me? I got mad because I cared. And I know we managed to get it together. And while you forgot that you hurt me with these little things you were already sorry for once, here we are playing the same game all over again. There’s just one difference. I will accept that these things will never change and I will not start a fight. I just hope that accepting these things don’t lead to me not caring anymore.
