ONEFAUXSEVEN FASHION FILLING WORDS

With a lot of catching-up to do, I start with these BTS photos of one of the shootings I was part of at sisterMAG. For those who don’t know: After staying in Berlin for 7 months, I decided to move back to Vienna for now. I enjoyed working at sisterMAG and this was an experience I don’t wanna miss ever. I learned a lot about this line of business and also about myself. For real now, it was absolutely amazing. I got to know a lot of creative people – especially my lovely co-workers – found the creative side that I didn’t even knew existed, and challenged myself in many different ways. I was living the dream, that I was longing for under all circumstances about a year ago. At this point you’ll probably ask yourself: Why the fuck is she back then? Some of you may know that I had the hardest time being away from my family too. I told myself that it would just take some time to get used to it.
And I was right. I actually got used to it. This doesn’t mean that I was happy. After spending an almost five-week vacay with my family, I caught myself crying, without any reason, when I was only thinking about going back. Yeah, I know right? This sounds soooo dramatic. So I told myself to have my emotional five minutes and be all gangster again. I Persuading myself that I was just exaggerating, I packed my things, hold my tears back and flew back to Berlin – the City where my dream job was waiting for me.After being back a week, I was happy to see everyone again. Like, the girls were the sweetest and I was really happy to be back. But still, I felt like something just wasn’t right. So I decided to do something, that even surprised me at the end of the day. I just told myself to go trust my gut feeling. I am that kind of person that always has at least kind of a plan and sticks to it. And trust me: The decision to leave after a week wasn’t part of the plan for sure.

I felt good and relived but was annoyed at the same time. I was angry for not taking the challenge. Cause who’s to blame if I find out after a few months, that this wasn’t the right decision? Me and only me. And blaming myself makes it to top 5 of my shitlist. A few days went by, and this anger just turned into excitement of going back to Vienna. Now that I’m back, I can say, that I made the right decision for myself. I stopped thinking about what life would look like if I’d decided to stay. I just know that I will never ever find out. But I find myself writing this last sentence with a smile on my face.

It’s not only about not having those special people around you. I think I had high expectations when I moved to Berlin. About the city itself. Some of my friends already told me, that this is not the right city for me. I wanted to prove that it will be. Berlin and I .. we had our difficulties from the very beginning. I was trying to convince myself that I really wanna stay there. Start a new life there. But it’s like fate really told me periodically to keep my hands off.

As this blog was created to find some space to write down words about my personal life, lifestyle and thoughts, I am writing these words. For me. And for the people that made my stay in Berlin a wonderful experience. Thank you, and on to the next chapter.